The Cry is a Lie

Sometimes Dane Cook is so contrived but a total guilty pleasure.

The act of crying has been defined as “a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures.” No other animals are thought to produce tears in response to emotional states.

Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition which differs from other types of tear. They contain significantly greater quantities of hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, Leu-enkephalin and elements potassium and manganese. William H. Frey II, a biochemist at the University of Minnesota, proposed that people feel better after crying due to the elimination of hormones associated with stress, specifically adrenocorticotropic hormone.

Pretty scientific hey? I love the Wikipedia. I am not a crier, never have been, so I have been researching the function of crying. I looked at a lot of stories written about crying and most of them were centered upon crying as – “nonverbal communication in order to elicit helping behavior from others.” That is like a total stupid girl thing to do.

So I read all that scientific shit, watched the Dane Cook, (which is totally scientific btw) I read lots and lots of stories and came to the question, a hypothesis if you will…Would crying make me feel better?

It took me a long time to get to the point of even feeling like crying. There are times in my life that I think it would have been really appropriate for me to cry. Let’s see if I regret that.

Since things have been just about as fucky as they can be for me lately, crying was easier than I thought. Fail life ftw! I started by crying in safe places where no one else was. In the shower or in the car to and from work. I cried a few good times. Dane Cook tells the truth man. (I know you didn’t watch it)

So, scientifically, crying made me feel better like 100% of the time.
Fuck really?
Fuck really. The best part? It just happens now. When I feel sad, I cry. Are you fucking kidding me? In places that I don’t want it to come out too. Like in line at the grocery store or FUCKING HELLO! At work! I haaate girls that cry at work. Srsly, this has to stop. Christ, I let another person know that I was crying. Wha? It’s madness.

There was this episode of Friends… (and I purposely put my Friends reference at the end of the post so that you could move on from here if you don’t give two shits about Friends) So this episode of Friends where Chandler and Monica have lots of fights because Chandler cannot cry. In the end, he does learn to cry but then wont stfu and turns into a little bitch cry baby. /cry

That’s me! Ugh!

Sometimes crying saves people.